The Reality of Being a Working Mom in America
Motherhood in America is often a delicate balancing act, especially for working mothers. The expectation to seamlessly juggle career ambitions, domestic responsibilities, and the emotional needs of our children is a challenge that can feel insurmountable at times. For those of us who have experienced motherhood in different cultural contexts, the contrast is even more stark. In Haiti, where I raised my first daughter for the first three years of her life, motherhood felt more manageable, allowing me the space to grow both as a parent and as an entrepreneur. The transition to raising children in the U.S., however, has been humbling and, at times, overwhelming.
In Haiti, I was building a business from the ground up while raising my daughter, managing our household, and attending to the daily demands of life. Yet, I had full-time help that cost a fraction of what it would here in the U.S. I also had the luxury of a full-time driver who handled school drop-offs and pick-ups, giving me the freedom to attend PTA meetings, show up for school events, and be fully present on weekends. Despite having round-the-clock care, my daughter grew to be an independent, capable child. I allowed her to explore, even with the ever-watchful eyes of caregivers ensuring her safety. Everything, from laundry to meal prep, was managed by others, granting me mental and emotional space that I realize now was a privilege.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I moved to the U.S. and became pregnant with my second daughter. My experience as a working mom shifted dramatically. Pregnancy here lacked the empathy and consideration I had grown accustomed to. I remember walking into appointments without the simple convenience of an assigned parking space for expectant mothers, waiting in long lines while my body ached. Healthcare, too, was a harsh awakening—what I paid for childbirth here was triple what it had been back home. My incredible doctor, as good as she was, was often unavailable for calls, leaving me feeling disconnected and anxious at times.
The birth of my second daughter brought with it the reality that I would now be everything for my children—caregiver, chauffeur, nurse, cook, and homemaker—all while maintaining a professional life. This new chapter of motherhood was humbling in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Without the support system I had in Haiti, I found myself exhausted beyond words. I would return home after an eight-hour workday, only to immediately switch into "mom mode." There were dinners to prepare, bedtime routines to manage, and laundry to fold at midnight, knowing that I’d be waking up to do it all over again the next day.
What astonishes me the most is how normalized this pressure is in the U.S., as if the weight of these expectations is simply a part of being a mother. The role of the working mom is revered but seldom supported in ways that truly alleviate the burden. I found myself reflecting deeply on how American mothers are often expected to do it all, without the societal infrastructure to back them up. It made me question how single mothers manage such overwhelming demands—how they continue to show up, day after day, with so little reprieve.
Despite the challenges, my journey as a working mother has taught me resilience. The exhaustion is real, the pressures are immense, but so too is the strength that comes from navigating motherhood in America. I’ve learned that we mothers, though often stretched thin, possess an inner well of endurance that allows us to thrive even in the face of overwhelming odds. And while this journey may be different from the one I envisioned, it has made me stronger, more compassionate, and infinitely more grateful for the moments of joy I find with my daughters.
To all the working mothers reading this, know that you are seen, you are valued, and you are not alone in this journey. The balance may be difficult to maintain, but the resilience you show each day is a testament to the power of motherhood. Let us continue to support one another in this ever-evolving dance between career and care, as we redefine what it means to be a working mom in America.
By: Krisna Adrien
